A Brief Re-Introduction

It's been a really long time since I've posted.

So much has changed in the last 4 years. I've gotten married. I went back to school (again). I've semi-changed careers. I've had a life coach. Life is ever evolving and always changing. I don't feel like I'm  the same Samurai Girl who started this blog. I've grown up a bit more. I'm not as involved in the martial arts, but I've been exposed to all kinds of new activities like rock climbing, canyoning, aerial circus, and more. I would like to start blogging again, but I think in order to continue here the blog needed a bit of an update.

That being said, welcome to Breakfast at Fliffani's! (Ha. Get it? Well, so much for the being grown up part.)

I've been working through Kris Wilder's Musashi Field Manual and reading The Dokkodo. It's great stuff, but it leaves me feeling very introspective and wanting an outlet to share some of the thought processes I've been working through. I plan on posting some of those musings here.

In addition I have been re-focusing on my artwork lately. I have several projects I want to accomplish in the next year or two, so hopefully I'll be able to start posting some artwork and story ideas here.

Thanks for stopping by and I'll post more soon.

Know Thyself. Also, progress!

I think it can be very important and eye opening for people to know their strengths, weaknesses, and personality types. Sometimes knowing a little bit about yourself can help you understand your behavior, find the best job suited for you, help you navigate difficult situations, understand and/or overcome your weaknesses, and more.

I have compiled some personality tests and strengths finders that I have found to be generally well accepted and accurate. Have fun, take them, see what you learn. I posted my results just for fun. You will have gotten to know Samurai Girl just a little bit better after this post. Lucky you. :þ

Myers Briggs or Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) - pretty much everyone has heard of the Myers Briggs personality test. There are 16 different personality types according to four different behavioral indicators. Extrovert vs. Introvert, Sensing vs. Intuitive, Feeling vs. Thinking, and Judging vs Perception. Based on a series of questions the test is designed to determine which side of the spectrum you are on the four dynamics and give you your type, which is usually abbreviated with one letter from each type. For example, I'm an INFJ, which stands for Introvert Intuitive Feeling Judgement. Typelogic.com and Wikipedia have good breakdowns of the types and their descriptions. You can take the Myers Briggs Personality Test here ALWAYS go with your first response/initial reaction when answering these types of yes-no or multiple choice questions.

My Results: INFJ is the rarest of types, usually accounted as being between 1–3% of the population.

INFJs are conscientious and value-driven. They seek meaning in relationships, ideas, and events, with an eye toward better understanding themselves and others. Using their intuitive skills, they develop a clear and confident vision, which they then set out to execute, aiming to better the lives of others. Like their INTJ counterparts, INFJs regard problems as opportunities to design and implement creative solutions.

INFJs have been mistaken for extroverts, as they tend to possess multiple personalities due to their complex inner life; however, they are true introverts. INFJs are private individuals who prefer to exercise their influence behind the scenes. Though they are very independent, INFJs are intensely interested in the well-being of others. INFJs prefer one-on-one relationships to large groups. Sensitive and complex, they are adept at understanding complicated issues and driven to resolve differences in a cooperative and creative manner.

INFJs have a rich, vivid inner life that they may be reluctant to share with those around them. Nevertheless, they are congenial in their interactions and perceptive of the emotions of others. Generally well liked by their peers, they may often be considered close friends and confidants by most other types; however, they are guarded in expressing their own feelings, especially to new people, and tend to establish close relationships slowly. INFJs tend to be easily hurt, though they may not reveal it (except to their closest companions). INFJs may "silently withdraw as a way of setting limits" rather than expressing their wounded feelings—a behavior that may leave others confused and upset.

INFJs tend to be sensitive, quiet leaders with a great depth of personality. They are intricately, deeply woven, mysterious, highly complex, and often puzzling, even to themselves. They have an orderly view toward the world but are internally arranged in a complex way that only they can understand. Abstract in communicating, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. With a natural affinity for art, INFJs tend to be creative and easily inspired, yet they may also do well in the sciences, aided by their intuition.

What I can learn from this: Not everyone feels things as intensely as I do, so I need to give myself a safe space and time to express and feel emotions accordingly. Large group settings are not where I am a viking, and that is ok; it also probably wouldn't hurt to express to people that I am an introvert and/or that I am uncomfortable and need a moment to get some air instead of just withdrawing quietly or disappearing. This can help avoid confusion and hurt feelings. I need creativity and meaning in my world to feel content and I need to be solving problems to feel successful.

As a side note I find it pretty interesting to note that some of my closest friends are INTJs or ENTJs. We're very close in some ideas and behaviors except for the emotional aspects. I'm the 'feeler' of my group as it were, which also makes it very easy for me to be guilt tripped and/or emotionally manipulated, which I need to watch out for. 

Gallup Strengths Finder  -  This test you do have to pay for, but I think to take the test it is probably $10. It is really good at assessing your strengths. This is meant more to help direct you in the work force to allow you to find a good job and a good position for you, but understanding your strengths and drives can also greatly help you understand your behaviors in your personal life as well. It can also show you your weaknesses and give you tips on areas of improvement or things to look for. There are 34 total strengths and taking the test will give you your top five. Here is the direct link to the gallup strengths finder quiz purchase page. 

My results were:
Input, Learner, Responsibility, Restorative, and Empathy. These roughly break down like the following

Input - loves collecting knowledge and information
Learner - loves to learn
Responsibility - has an inherent need to take responsibility and be responsible for my actions, etc.
Restorative - has an inherent need to fix things, especially my own mistakes. (I think this goes hand in hand with Responsibility. It makes sense I have both, really.)
Empathy - can intuitively understand the feelings and the needs of others and sympathize. 

Equilibria Personality Type -  I like this test a little more than the straight up single color personality profiles because it gives you a dual color result rather than just "blue" or "yellow". This test is free and can be taken on the Equilibria website.

My Results Were:

Blue/Red - The Doing Relater

I am an industrious person who focuses on goals and proceeds full speed ahead. I am willing to be supportive of others if it helps me achieve my objectives. I do have a genuine desire to complete tasks from start to finish, preferably by myself.

I am highly focused and sometimes forget to ask or seek other people's opinions. I have a tendency to say 'I' instead of 'we.’

I am competitive and find it difficult to delegate tasks and jobs.

My tendencies include:

• I dislike being told what to do or when or how to do something
• I am reluctant to change what I think or how I feel
• I will only delegate tasks when absolutely necessary
• I like to make sure that production is completed on schedule
• I depend a lot on plans for action and follow up routines
• I become tenacious and even more anxious when under pressure

My Potential Limiters:

With tasks: Because I am so focused, I could benefit by broadening my perspectives. I need to learn to be effective outside my comfort zone by considering different points of view and finding other ways to achieve my goals. All too often, I am in the 'either / or' mode in my decision making and need to practice flexibility.

With people: I must start to show confidence in others by delegating and giving people tasks that will be fulfilling for them. I can also benefit by creating more free time and space in my life, as well as generally appreciating and tolerating differences among people.

• I should ask others to share their ideas on how to accomplish tasks and how to satisfy their needs and expectations.
• I should be more genuinely open with others by revealing my feelings and addressing theirs.
• I should be less afraid to seek guidance or ask for help.

What I can learn:  I think that a lot of the quiz's recommendations for me to basically open up to people more stem from my introvertedness. After discussing my personality type with my mom, I discovered that I actually started life as an extrovert and through a lot of bullying and bad teacher experiences throughout the course of my childhood I withdrew, grew a shell, and turned into an introvert. It's interesting that my initial reactions to it being suggested is to scoff and think "But you don't know what people are really like!" Which means I probably do need to work on opening up a little more. It's not that I'm not genuine or sincere with people that I don't know well, it's just that I'm very guarded and initially distrustful. I need to be more soft when it comes to dealing with others.


Well, there you have it. I encourage you to take time for introspection and reflection.

As I've mentioned before I haven't been posting regularly because I've been having some difficulty with finding direction and motivation in life. Nick and I have had some pretty involved conversations lately regarding this and I feel like we've finally broken some ground. Understanding what it is that drives me, what I respond well to, and what I don't, has been instrumental in helping me get out of my slump.

Oklahoma has been a difficult learning experience for me, but I'm glad that I moved down. I've had some really good experiences and Nick has helped me through a lot. On the whole though I am really looking forward to moving forward in my life and tackling the next thing.

The move to back to Colorado will be a great reset. (For both Nick and I) I'm looking forward to going back to school. I've decided to become a Massage Therapist, which will allow me some freedom with my schedule once I am able to work on my own, and this can later be incorporated into Nick's martial arts school if desired. It's a quick 9 months and then I'll be done with school and into the work force.

There are several excellent martial arts schools (and people) to study with in Colorado, which both Nick and I are looking forward to.

Colorado is a healthier state and it will be much more enjoyable to be in the great outdoors, hiking and camping in the mountains, etc, instead of dealing with the extreme heat, humidity and allergies of Oklahoma.

To name just a few of the things we are looking forward to.

Hopefully I should be back into the swing of things fairly quickly and can get back to posting good Martial Arts, Health, Fitness, and Violence related posts again in the near future. Thanks for bearing with me, this last year has been especially difficult, but I feel like things are finally looking up and moving forward. I feel very positive and uplifted for the first time in a long time. Like a great weight has (finally) been lifted off my back.

Wishing you all the best,

Samurai Girl


P.S. if anyone has any particularly good suggestions for places to study at (or at least visit) in Colorado I would be happy to hear them. We are going to be in the Denver area. Currently on our list is Nippon Kan Aikido (also Domo), I think Nick is going to at least check out Bob Orlando's school in Lakewood, and hopefully we can also get down to visit Marc MacYoung's school in Castle Rock before too long as well. Other suggestions are welcome in the comments below. 

Coping with Stress

I did a post about this before, but I wanted to revisit the topic. My mom came down to visit this weekend and she is having an incredibly stressful time in her job right now. She's been having horrible migraines that last for days as well as gastrointestinal discomfort. She said she was going to the doctor on Monday about it. I told her she was stressed and she needed a massage. Mom called me today and said that the doctor told her, "It's very likely stress related, get a massage and/or try some yoga." That's right mom, the Tiffani knows best, so this article is for you. (And anyone else who is dealing with a tremendous amount of stress in their life)

Last time I covered some of the effects stress can have on your body and briefly went over some ways to deal with that, but I want to go a little more in depth on how to handle stress as opposed to just listing all the terrible things it can do to your body.

First it's very important to identify the sources of stress in your life. If it is something you can't avoid (in my mom's case it's her job) then you should try to work on limiting unnecessary stress. (By the way mom, time to find a new job.) Here are some things you can do to help with limiting your stress. (This website does a great job of explaining them)

Avoid

• Learn to say NO.
• Avoid people who stress you out.
• Make your environment comfortable and reduce sources of anxiety

Alter

• Express your emotions instead of bottling them up
• Be willing to compromise and let some things go
• Attempt to maintain good time management, but not to the point it stresses you out more.

Adapt

• Look at the big picture
• Focus on the positive
• If you're a perfectionist, try not to be so hard on yourself

Accept

• Realize there are things you can't control, and don't try to control them
• Try to find the silver lining
• Learn to forgive (yourself and others)
• Share your feelings

Here is the part I REALLY wanted to focus on. I have stress... I am hurting and I feel miserable from my stress, what can I do!?

• Take a walk
• Sometimes just getting out of the house and away from everything for a minute will help clear your head. I often find if I am stressed that physical work helps me to kind of shut my brain off from all the things I am worrying about. If I am walking or working out or doing yard work I tend to zone out and focus on my task as opposed to obsessing over whatever is bothering me.
• Spend some time in nature
• Spending some time just sitting in the sun and listening to the birds or wind in the trees can be very relaxing. Sunshine provides us with much needed vitamin D and it is, in general, very good for your mental health. (There is a type of depression called S.A.D. which is Seasonal Affective Disorder. This most commonly happens during winter months when there is less sunlight and can be treated by photo-therapy and U.V. lights. Just goes to show sunshine is important!)
• Call a good/trusted friend
• Sometimes talking to someone who you love and trust, who is willing to just listen and let you vent, can make you feel worlds better. It really helps to get all that anxiety out and express it in a healthy way. 
• Go work out
• This is along the same lines as physical activity for me. I only focus on the work out. Sometimes stress or anger can fuel a very intesive work out. It's a great way to get some of that anxious energy out of your body and you will usually feel exhausted but satisfied at the end.
• Keep a journal and vent in it
• For people who don't like venting or talking to other people as much, keeping a journal can be a great way to get all of those negative emotions out. By putting them down on paper you are getting them out of your head and not keeping them bottled up. You can write whatever you want in the journal, scribble up the pages, and get all that stress and frustration out in a safe way without worrying about 'bringing someone else down'. (Even though your friends are happy to listen and support you and they love you, sometimes it's just hard to talk to people.)
• Take a long hot bath
• Aaaaaaaaaaah, So relaxing. Just don't fall asleep in the tub.
• Light scented candles or other aromatherapy
• Just having some nice smells around the house can be great. Especially when coupled with a hot bath or with your massage. For those of your who scoff at thinking just smelling something can help you feel better, there is some scientific evidence that it really does work. If you're interested The Mayo Clinic offers a brief explanation on aromatherapy and this site explains a little more how it actually works.
• Drink a hot beverage, like teas or hot chocolates. (Maybe not Coffee as it has a lot of caffeine).
• Sometimes holding something warm in your hands can make you feel safe and relaxed. And teas and hot chocolates are yummy. Just make sure you're staying away from things with high volumes of sugar and caffeine as that can have the opposite effect of what we are trying to achieve.
• Pet an animal.
• Scientific studies have shown that petting an animal significantly lowers your blood pressure and reduces stress and depression. There are lots of programs now that will take dogs, cats, and even rabbits into retirement communities and hospitals for people to pet. If you don't have a pet you can always go to your local shelter and spend some time loving on the animals there.
• Spend time on a hobby away from electronics,
• I have found (and I am probably going to get a lot of crap for this) that hobbies involving electronics, like video games, don't do a great job of alieviating stress. It has been my observation that they provide more of an escape then a stress relief as they can be very intense and mentally taxing. When I play a video game, I get very wrapped up in it and when I finish after playing for an extended period of time I feel tired and anxious. Gamers will probably deny it, and don't get me wrong, I LOVE video games, but I don't think they're the BEST source of stress relief. Especially if you like first person shooters and play online, it can be frustrating and irritating when you die over and over or can't get past a certain point in the game, etc etc. Then you wind up even more stressed out than you started with. (although there are some really cool games like Flower that can be relaxing in their own way) In today's world with everything so inundated with electronics and instant updates, try getting away from that and going back to basics. Paint, draw, garden, build models, read, write, fish, hike, bike, haiku, sudoko, jigsaw puzzle, the possibilities are nearly limitless!
• Get a massage
• I set this in bold because massages are AMAZING. I could go on and on about all the awesome benefits of getting a massage. They help your muscles relax, increase blood flow, release stored toxins so your body can flush them, and all kinds of other wholesome goodness. They're awesome. Get one. And drink lots and lots of water when you're done.
• Learn or practice meditation or yoga 
• Meditation can help you focus your mind and clear away distractions. It can be calming and can help you find your center when you are feeling frazzled or overwhelmed. Yoga is a great work out that incorporates stretching, breathing and meditation. It's pretty sweet stuff.
• Listen to some upbeat music
• Music can have a huge affect on your mood. If you are stressed or down, don't listen to heavy metal screamo music. Listen to something light and positive to help bolster your good mood and positive attitude.
• Watch a comedy movie
• Laughter is undoubtedly one of the best medicines out there. Look up a funny video on you tube, watch your favorite silly movie, talk to people who make you laugh. Laughing releases endorphins into your body and can make you feel great.
• Dare I say it... this last one... intended for mature audiences only. You'll have to highlight the text to read it. Otherwise, move along and don't be offended. ^_^
• Have an orgasm. That's right. I said it. Get frisky with your partner or your favorite toy. If you think laughing releases a lot of endorphins into your brain... it's marginal compared to what your body gets after you have an orgasm. Enough said.

In my last article I talked about setting a healthy lifestyle which included eating good whole foods, making time for exercise, reduced caffeine and sugar intake, and avoiding alcohol and drugs. It can take some work to get these habits established if you don't already do a lot of these things, but the benefits are well worth it.

So now, everyone go get a massage and feel better. (Especially you mom!) 

Wilder Seminar Review II

A few weekends ago Nick and I got to attend one of Mr. Wilder's seminars. If you haven't had a chance to attend one of his seminars, you need to. This seminar presented different material from the last seminar that I attended with Mr. Wilder, which was pretty cool for Nick and I.

The first day/evening we took some time to review material from the last seminar. The closest seminars to us are hosted by Eric Parsons (who runs Karate 4 Life, which is pretty cool because it utilizes Martial Arts to help people, and all his seminars go towards fund raising, etc) in Missouri. By now, I feel like I kind of know everyone who attends the seminars and it is nice to see all the familiar faces. It feels like family. ^.^ Almost everyone there had attended Mr. Wilder's last seminar in Missouri, so it was neat to see how people have taken his teachings and incorporated them into their own practice.

There are definitely a lot of fundamentals that I need to improve on, and it doesn't help that I haven't been able to attend classes or work on Marital Arts a lot over the last several months. It's just another reminder that I need to make sure I make time for this and find a way to make a living doing what I love. But I digress.

Wilder uses structure and linear force to generate power. He talks about stacking the bones in your body and when he hits, it's really cool to watch. As I said in my last review of a Wilder Seminar, it's like Martial Arts Guru magic. It's neat stuff and it really works.

Day two delved more into the newer material. One of the first activities we did was to discover if we are a Runner, Grappler, or Striker. To do this exercise you need three people. One person stands in the middle and has one person behind them and one person in front of them. The person in the middle does something to get their heart rate up and to simulate stress. I.E. Running in place or doing fast jumping jacks. The person behind them positions them-self somewhere behind the person in the middle. The person in front watches to see when the person in the back is ready, and when the person in the middle is sufficiently stressed. They then yell "GO!" and the person in the back rushes the person in the middle. The person in the middle should then respond according to instinct. You need to do this several times (roughly 5) and see if the person in the middle runs toward, runs away, engages, or does something else, like assuming the fetal position.

After you have done this a few times you can look at your tendencies and determine if you are a Runner, Grappler, or Striker. The person behind you should mix it up a lot to make the situations different to see how you respond. Nick is grappler. I tend to be a little more situational.  If the person is very close to me, or I am caught off guard/by surprise, my first instinct is to run. If I can see them coming then I move in to engage.

So the point of all this is to practice to your nature. Wilder says that your nature is your nature, it is who you are and it isn't going to change, so you should embrace it and practice to your strengths. Particularly when you practice kata, you should practice with your tendencies in mind so you are thinking of applications that suite your instincts. Is that box block a grab and strike, grab and strike, grab and strike, or is it really more of a shihonage? Depends on if you are a striker or grappler. Work to your nature and practice accordingly.

We then talked about striking from a distance, which is more psychological than anything. Using your eye contact and your body language to control people. This is pretty cool stuff, and something I need a lot of work on. Homework: PEOPLE WATCH. Watch how people stand when they talk to each other, or when you talk to them, and them move your body to a different position and see how they react.

After lunch we covered kicking! I am particularly fond of kicking because while I don't have a tremendous amount of upper body strength, I DO have a great deal of lower body strength. We covered a few different types of kicks, including suni geri and two variations on a shomengeri kick. Wilder does a great job of explaining how to use structural/linear force and the stronger muscles in your hips to power your kicks as opposed to the rotational force we see everywhere else. I won't go into any more detail here because Wilder is really the best instructor for this.

Wilder then took the last hour of the seminar and turned us into monks. With ice cubes. It was epic.

Wilder also briefly covered something he calls the "Macta Bacalas" (and I'm probably spelling that wrong, Mr. Wilder, if you're reading this, please correct me) which is the warrior's path. I find myself really drawn to discussions and ideals of this nature regarding Martial Arts and Martial training. It's not that I idealize violence, but when Wilder talks about the difference between a warrior and a fighter, I can't help but want to be the warrior. I don't care about playing the game, or dragging the fight out, or winning for glory. I want to be the warrior that ends it, immediately. The Samurai mentality to some degree... knowing you could snap that ass hole in half like a twig, but not doing it because it's not worth it. It's very hard to articulate for me... I'll have to think more on it and post about it in the future. By the way, if you ever meet Mr. Wilder, he has some pretty amazing Samurai eyebrows when he does his Samurai face. You should ask him to show you.

ANYWAY, I of course wanted to know more about this "Macta Bacalas" but when I asked Wilder said it's something he created, which he covers in his newest book, which isn't out yet. I have since pre-ordered my copy of Dirty Ground and am hopeful that this topic will be covered in more depth.

Overall, it was another great seminar, and a good reminder that I really need to stop filling my life with distractions so I can work on what I really want... as soon as I figure out what that is. For now, I will continue with my art and once school is out I will go back to training. (Although I am very glad I took Anatomy and Kinesiology as the class was very interesting and I hope to have a video posted soon of a project Nick and I are working on inspired by the class).

Till next time, ja mata.

What's in your Supplement?

I recently went to GNC to get a small Blender Bottle for my mom for mother's day. (Which, if you haven't heard of these things, they're freaking amazing. Get one! They work for all kinds of stuff!) I can find the large/regular sized ones everywhere, but I have only found the mini ones at a few stores in my area. Anyway, She really likes Spark, and I wanted to get her something easier to mix it in then just a glass with a spoon. The mini size blender bottles work perfectly.

Anyway, the very nice guys at the store asked us what we wanted our blender bottle for and my mom said "Spark! I really love it!" Well, of course since Spark is through AdvoCare and not commercially available, they gave of some samples of things that they thought we would like better that we could buy at their store. Of course.

I got them home and put the samples in the pantry thinking I may get around to trying them eventually.

I work out at a CrossFit gym, I'm studying to be a personal trainer, and I do try to eat pretty clean. I will be the first to admit I don't eat anywhere near as much as I should, but at least I don't eat junk. Yesterday was a particularly challenging work out for me. I absolutely hate trying to get through a work out and lagging behind because my body just decides its physically done. I feel slow, I can't make myself keep going. Its AWFUL. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so to me it feels like failure, which is very difficult for me to deal with.

So, feeling incredibly tired, exhausted, pissed off, and miserable after my work out yesterday I decided maybe it was time to bust out some of those "EXPLOSIVE PRE-WORKOUT SUPPLEMENT" samples. I had three different ones to choose from, so I looked them over. Then I got to REALLY looking them over and looking at the labels. That stopped me dead in my tracks. Has anyone seen the warnings on these things???

This one didn't scan so well, so it's hard to see. But basically most of these warnings are close to the same across the board. Don't use if you're under 18, don't use if you have a huge list of health conditions, don't use for more than 8 weeks, don't take any any other sources of caffeine or stimulants if you are taking these, discontinue use if you feel experience rapid heartbeat, dizziness, severe headache, shortness of breath, etc. If you're an athlete you need to consult the governing body of any  professional sports organizations because some of them have banned the substances in these supplements. 

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but that scares me a little bit. Why would I take something that could make me that sick or that has been banned by professional sports organizations, even on an amateur level? It probably works great... but is it worth it, dumping all that stuff into your body? Kinda turns me off.... 

No Thanks! I'll pass on the chemical cocktail. ¬.¬ Just for shits and giggles, lets take a look at what is in an AdvoCare Spark. (Which isn't necessarily designed to do the same thing, but since these are what the GNC guys gave me to try in lieu of Spark... why not compare?)

Hmm. If you're pregnant or nursing, check with a doctor (Which everything under the sun says that) and if you're sensitive to caffeine. 

As far as the caffeine, I've never drank a pop in my life, I don't drink coffee, I pretty much never consume caffeine. I have tea once in a blue moon, which is usually like 20mg of caffeine. I can drink these and be fine. If I eat too much dark chocolate (which is very high in caffeine) I get a massive debilitating migraine. By too much I mean something about the size of a Hershey bar. So I would say I probably qualify for caffeine sensitive. Other people who have similar issues have not had a problem with spark, or to be cautious they only drink half a Spark and are fine. Plus, AdvoCare products are all Informed Decision certified, which means there are absolutely NO BANNED SUBSTANCES in them.

If you work out and like to add a little zing to your routine or are looking to do so, I would caution you to please check the labels and consider carefully before you just start taking something, or check with your doctor of course.

I'm not a chemist or a pharmacist, so I don't know everything. But I know something with that kind of  a warning label definitely causes me to pause. Obviously every person is different and everyone has to find what works best for them. What do you find works for you or what, if anything, do you like to eat or use before a work out or cardio activity? 

Testing Fees

Testing Fees...

Sue C's blog post about the cost of obtaining a black belt got me thinking about infamous testing fees. I'm not sure what they are like in other schools or what everyone's experience with them is, but here is my two cents: Testing Fees are BOGUS.

(Not going to lie, that felt really good to type)

Anyway, I'm sure it varies from school to school and in what part of the country/world you are in, but here in the U.S. testing fees can be astronomical.

Sensei Nick's perspective: Part of the reason he left his old school was this very reason. He wanted to test for his 5th dan but the fee was $600. Nick has explained it as "$600 for no real perceived benefit. Over time my certificates felt like they were worth less and less because the people who were also earning them achieved them with less and less effort."

Think about it. If you take a college class, you pay for the class and the materials up front. You take the class. You have your mid terms, and you take your final. You pay for your books and materials up front at the beginning of the class. (You buy your Gi, sparring gear, patches, student handbook, etc. up front.) They don't charge you to take your midterm or your final. You may even have to buy your blue book, but it's only $2 or $3. (If you have to charge, charge them for the belt or the certificate, which might be $8) Plus, you don't raise the price based on the student. Can you imagine walking into the book store, picking up your scan-tron sheets or blue book and getting to the register and having the cashier ask you if you are a graduate or undergrad student? If you're a freshman it's $2, if you're a sophomore it's $4, if you're a junior it's $6 and if you're a senior it's $10. If you're a graduate student it's $20. For the exact same blue book.

From my point, which also actually ending up affecting Sensei Nick, though I didn't know it till much later: In 2004 and 2005 I was a student of Sensei Nick's while I was in high school. I was testing for my 9th Kyu, first stripe in Aiki. After I passed my test Sensei Nick told me I could pay my testing fee at the front desk. This was the first time I had heard of a testing fee and I stared at him for a moment before breaking into tears and walking away.

Some of my adult friends pulled me aside to find out what was wrong and I explained to them that I would have to skip classes next month in order to pay for my test as I could not afford to pay the testing fee (which was only $30) and tuition for the next month (Which was only $40) at the same time. These are not very big amounts, but at that time I was going to school full time, working two jobs and paying for most of my own expenses. I'm sure this is a pretty common story and everyone can relate to this on some level, if not in high school certainly in college. Every extra cent I had went towards class. I had maybe $2.00 in my bank account at the time, which was the norm between paychecks after I had paid for gas, insurance, lunches, and tuition for class.

My friends ended up paying my testing fee for me and in the process had to explain to Nick why they were doing so. I ended up moving away to college/Colorado a short time after that and had to leave the school, but when I got back in touch with Nick 2010 I found out that because of what happened with me he eliminated testing fees from his school altogether. He said that he "could not believe he had made someone feel the way that the ass hole who told him his next test was $600 had made him feel". Guinn Martial Arts does not have any fees outside of purchasing your Gi and monthly tuition. When we get our Karate classes attendance up we will probably ask students to purchase their own sparring gear.


Sensei Nick and I are of the opinion that rank/testing fees are generally a way for more commercial schools to pump more money out of their students. Of course some people/instructors might try to defend their testing fee by saying "It covers the cost of the test and the belt and the certificate." etc. I do understand you have to run a business and make a profit to live, but at what point do the charges become exorbitant?

I don't know how most schools do testing, but I can say that most of the schools I have attended hold testing during normal dojo hours, at least until you get to brown or black belt and your tests are taking 3 hours or more. Even then, most of the schools I know of still hold these tests at certain dates of the year instead of Saturday classes, or other happenings during dojo open hours.

Nick has looked into and divided out the costs of common testing materials. A certificate costs no more then $2.00 per certificate to print, even on nice paper with color ink (It's closer to $1.20). A belt generally costs $5.00. With the exception of black belts which can cost up to $20, plus embroidery which can cost up to $30, raising the total cost of a very nice black belt to $50. Boards for breaking run about $1 a board.

I had a second experience when I was studying Kempo, they wanted me to test for my Orange belt and I told them I could not afford the testing fee. They pretty much insisted I attend the test that month and I needed to pay my fee in advance. It was a $75 fee on top of the $195 a month I was already paying for classes. My yellow belt test had been $60, and the fees went up with every belt. I looked my instructor square in the face and told him that if it was that important to him then I would test, but in order to do so I would be going hungry that month. He blinked at me like it had never occurred to him that people might not actually have money oozing out of their pockets.

So, if the dojo is open anyway, and the instructor would normally be running a class, and materials/supplies are generally under $10.00 per student per test, why are schools asking students to pay $65, $70, $120, $300, $600 and up per test???

Are organizational fees really this high??? Sensei Nick said that when he was looking at registering his black belt with different international organizations it was $25 and $35 to register, depending on which organization he went with. They didn't take registration for anything less then black belt. So why ask students to pay $400 for a 1st kyu or even 3rd kyu? If an organization's fees ARE this high, you should probably take a really good, long, hard look at what you get for being a member.

What are your school's testing fees? Do you feel these are adequate or exorbitant? Does your school do anything special for testing? (One school I went to gave t-shirts, a belt, and a certificate with your new rank.) If you ran your own school, or if you do run your own school, what would be/what is your testing fee policy and why?

Nutrition Challenge

To give a bit of background, Sensei Nick and I have recently been working on several changes, including reworking the rank sheets for the Aikijutsu classes at his school. We are really happy with the results, but I will post about that later. We have also joined a CrossFit gym and we are loving it. I have to say that I really enjoy the CrossFit philosophy and work outs a great deal more then a typical gym workout. I have started referring to my crossfit work outs as "Ninja Training". It's good stuff.

You can find information about CrossFit on the CrossFit Home Page or check out the CrossFit Games, which is a competition whose aim is to find the most fit person on earth.

Starting in April I will be doing a nutrition challenge with my gym. I will be documenting everything and posting my experience along the way. I'm going to be trying out the Paleo Diet, which essentially encourages us to eat like Cave Men. Essentially, if you can hunt it or pick it you can eat it. I highly encourage you to look at the website and look at the research that has been done on this subject. It's pretty interesting compared to a lot of other diet and life style type eating habits I have looked into. Secondly, sometimes you need a nutritional supplement. I have always been on the hunt for good supplements, post work out sources, and such. I like to know what I am putting into my body is good. I recently learned about AdvoCare and I'll be test driving their products during my nutrition challenge. So I can let people know if they work as well as they claim. They do have a pretty good rep as they have an entire scientific and medical board behind them. I'm looking forward to seeing how the nutrition challenge turns out.

I am so ready to continue on my path to 'ninjaness' as it were. I want to be in great shape, I want to eat well, and I want to be healthy.

I have my 'weigh in' on Saturday where I will have my body fat % calculated. The goal is not to lose weight, it is to lose fat and build muscle, so I feel pretty good taking part in the challenge. I get sickened by the dual nature of our culture. The obesity rate is sky rocketing, but at the same time the desire to be skinny and look good drives millions of young people, boys and girls, toward unhealthy dieting and eating disorders. Fit is healthy and sexy, skinny is not. Meat is for the man, Bones are for the dogs. It's a difficult paradigm to overcome and a hard thing to find a balance.

My mother struggled with an eating disorder almost her whole life. I have seen how devastating it can be and how incredibly difficult it can be to overcome. (But, I have to say, my mom has been E.D. free for a few years now and she is looking much better. I'm so proud of her, I know how hard it's been and how much of a struggle it was, but if anyone out there is reading this and struggles with an eating disorder, you are not alone and there is help. You are stronger then you believe you are and you can overcome anything!)

I think that is what drives me so strongly towards becoming a personal trainer and martial arts instructor. I want to help people in the way my trainer and my instructors have helped me. I want to give people the gift of health, confidence and happiness. To help them feel good about themselves, to be genuinely happy with what they see in the mirror every day, to be confident in what they can do, and to achieve a healthy lifestyle. That is my hope and wish. I am working towards making all this happen, getting in super great shape, working hard on obtaining my black belts in Aikijutsu and Karate, and learning what I can about nutrition and supplements. I will make it happen!

More to come. Thank you sincerely for reading. :)

Bunkai-Jutsu Review

Bunkai-Jutsu by Iain Abernethy.     READ THIS BOOK! IT IS AMAZING!!!

Bunkai-Jutsu is amazing. I Devoured this book. With a captial D. This book covers just a little bit of everything, all the best parts, but not quite too much, leaving you wanting just a little bit more, like the sprinkles on a cake.

Ok, seriously. First, I have to say I really like how this book was set up. I really enjoyed the chapter on the history of kata. It was very informative. It's really good to know the history and purpose behind what you study.

From there Abernethy moves on through a logical progressions of tools and techniques you will need to know in order to decipher your kata. He constantly stresses that kata is NOT a dance, it is not meant to be pretty, Kata is designed to beat the shit out of the poor bastard who tries to jump you on your way home from work.

Abernethy gives examples of some of the principles you will use to decipher your kata and there are a large number of pictures in this book to follow along with as well. I think reading the book and using the DVDs as well will give the reader/viewer a better grasp of the material.

There is so much I want to say about this book, all of it positive. I don't have the book on me right now or I would give a better summary of the contents. Suffice it to say that this book should get bumped to the top of your reading list if you haven't already read it. I think between this book and Way of Kata, which gives you a similar perspective but different information on deciphering kata, any Martial Artist will be well on their way to understanding what the Masters really intended to impart to their students when they made the kata. You will be well equipped to sort through a lot of the garbage being taught in many dojos today.

I give Bunkai Jutsu by Iain Abernethy 6 out of 5 stars.

Review: Way of Kata

Way of Kata covers the largely untold truth about Kata. For anyone looking for a deeper move involved Bunaki for their kata or for anyone who feels that some of the applications taught by their Martial Arts school seem to be missing something, this book is for you. Even if you are a beginner, this book will give you a unique perspective and definite advantage as you begin your journey in the Matial Arts.

This book covers

• a brief history of karate and kata.
• strategy vs. tactics
• 15 guiding principles to follow
• 8 rules for interpreting kata
• what happens during a violent encounter, physically and mentally. Types of criminals, things you should know about fighting and what will happen during a fight.
• How to bring everything together to make your knowledge and practice effective.
• Kata examples with checklists from Goju Ryu kata.

Along with extra goodies at the end, there are some great glossaries/appendixes at the end; excellent reference/resource material.

First, there is a lot of information in this book. A LOT.  It's almost overwhelming. However, everything is arranged in a logical order with a progression that builds through the book. Everything in the next chapter builds on the chapter previous so they don't throw you in the middle of everything. 

I found Chapters 3 and 4 to be the most useful/beneficial to me. If you have not read anything else by Kane and Wilder or by Rory Miller, then Chapters 2 and 5 will be very interesting and information packed as well. If you are familiar with other works by Kane, Wilder, and Miller, then they will be a bit of a review, but still worth the read. 

Chapter 6 covers great classroom ideas as far as drills go and ways to practice what you learned. Chapter 7 is an extensive checklist of Goju Ryu kata and applications. This gives some really great examples and helps you understand the fundamentals of what the authors are talking about. I think this list would be invaluable to any Goju Ryu student. If you study a different school, like I study Shotokan for example, it would be helpful to look up the kata on YouTube to get a better idea of what the kata look like so you can see the techniques in motion.

The only complaint I have with this book is that it is a little on the dry side. It can be tedious to read through sometimes, as if you are reading through a text book, especially towards the end, chapters 5 through 7. I think this is just due to the sheer amount of information packed into this book. HOWEVER, even if you have to put the book down and come back to it the next day, I highly recommend pushing through it and finishing it. 

I think it is very important for Martial Artists to be educated on what they practice and/or teach. If you are teaching someone self defense, (which is in essence what Karate was designed for by the Okinawans) then you need to teach them something that works, not something ineffective that could get them hurt if their lives ever depended on their understanding of their techniques and kata application.

I think this is a MUST HAVE book for any Martial Artist or dojo library.

Review: How to Win a Fight

I recently (and more than a little behind schedule I admit, which Mr. Wilder or Mr. Kane if you are reading this, I sincerely apologize for) finished "How to Win a Fight" by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder.

"How to Win a Fight" is a book first and foremost I think about why you should NOT get into a fight, and how to avoid getting into one. As the saying goes, the only fight you are sure to win is the one you do not have. This book exemplifies and stresses that to n-th degree. They discuss the difference between the Hollywood glamour of fighting vs. the brutal reality that IS violence.

The book starts with an excellent forward by Mr. Rory Miller. This is a great call to action and one that I hope is followed by anyone who reads this book. (Or any other of Miller, Wilder, or Kane's books, which are all very good ).

Included in the introduction is a check list of how far you are willing to go, what you are and are not willing to do in various situations. I think this is an excellent idea. Miller did something similar to this in his seminar. It's really good to have a mental check list and to know what you are willing to do in any type of violent situation; to know your limits I recommend doing the checklist before and after reading the book to see if your answers change. I did. Scan of Photocopy the check list and take the time to fill it out. You might be surprised.

The book itself is broken up into three parts.

Before Violence Occurs, During a Violent Encounter, and After a Violent Encounter.

Section One gives lots of useful information about avoid violence and situations where violence occurs. In this section they cover information like awareness levels, reading body language, tactics predators can use to ambush you, using your voice to de-escalate the situation and how to avoid the Monkey Dance. Gangs are not your friends. And lastly, you WILL get hurt if you get involved in a fight. Which is not fun. Getting hurt can mean a lot more than just black eyes and busted teeth, which they cover in later chapters more extensively.

Section Two covers what to do if you are involved in an altercation. Kane and Wilder make it EXPLICITLY clear that under no circumstances should fight unless you have absolutely no other options and it is life or death. Section two covers some fairly intense material and may not be for the faint of heart. They talk about how to really hurt the enemy if you are in a situation where you need to get away. The book covers vulnerable spots, fighting tactics and strategies, etc. Again, this section is a good read, especially for someone who has never thought about what it might take to have to get someone away from you. For example, they describe in detail exactly how to pop an eye ball from its socket. Its a little morbid to be honest, and unsettling to read, but again I feel like its important to know what you may be into if you have to something that extreme to survive.

Section Three covers what to expect after you have been in a violence encounter. Unlike "Meditations on Violence." which covers mainly the emotional trauma that comes with a violent encounter, "How to Win a Fight" covers what to expect legally after you are in a violent encounter, what to expect when the police arrive and what you can do to protect yourself in court. This section is probably one of the more useful sections in the book as no martial arts dojos ever seem to cover this kind of information, and no one really tells you what to expect or how to behave with the police should you ever be in any kind of altercation.

Overall, lots of good things. Lots of useful information.

My ONLY complaint with this book is the fact that it has illustrations instead of photographs. I understand what the authors were trying to accomplish with this, and while the idea of using comic book style illustrations to reach a younger or wider audience is a good idea, I do not think it lends itself to this medium. This book is about the seriousness of violence, the cold and terrible reality of getting into a fight, the pain, the injuries, the possible jail time, etc. I think a serious book deserves a serious medium. I think if you are trying to communicate how 'uncool' violence is, then comic book illustrations are not the way to do it. Violence is nothing like comic books and video games and movies, so why try to use those same media to explain how it ISN'T like that?

Again, as mentioned, I believe using this type of marketing tactic will (potentially/hopefully) very like draw in the demographic the authors were trying to reach, but for me, it just didn't really lend itself to the message of the book very well. From what I understand "Little Black Book of Violence" is very similar to this book, but uses photographs. I think I would have enjoyed that format a lot better and will be reading Sensei Nick's copy for comparison sometime in the near(ish) future. Maybe I'm just a fan of uncomfortably graphic, but I think a picture of someone with a huge scar across their face or their guts laying on the sidewalk next to them where they bled out and died is much more sobering than an illustration. It just sort of makes it more real and brings it closer to home. An illustration removes the element of 'this is very real, and this is not a game', a photograph shows something that really happened to someone at some point in time and cannot lie. (Aside from Photoshoping it of course... but true actual photographs captured with film are pretty solid case makers in my opinion.)

To summarize: This is all the information they should go over in any kind of self defense class, seminar, or rape defense class or anything of the like. This is all incredibly useful information, and a good read for any Martial Artist who thinks they are studying self defense as opposed to Martial Arts as they are not the same thing. I think its important people know this kind of information and I think all Martial Arts dojos should require reading of this kind from their students. As mentioned, my only fault with the book are the illustrations. And not the illustrations themselves, because I like comic book art, I just don't think its the right format for the material. But, I have a feeling I may be in the minority there. It's just a personal preference thing on my account; so take it with a grain of salt. If I had to rate this book one a scale of 1 to 5, I would give 4 out of 5 stars, for sure.

Eating Healthy on the Road

long day with totoro...

I took a short road trip this weekend to see my mom in Joplin, MO and check out the Japanese festival at the botanic garden in St. Louis. Which was amazing. If anyone gets the chance to go, I highly recommend it. The gardens are beautiful and the whole trip was a lot of fun. I even got a Totoro hat!


But I digress...

I really wanted to post about how to eat when you are on the road!

I absolutely love travel, but I HATE fast food. (Don't get me wrong, I love the occasional fast food burrito, but I have gotten to the point where my body hates me for eating out.) But what are you supposed to do when you are on the road and there are only greasy icky options and gas station foods all around you?

Here are helpful tips for eating healthy on the road!

When you are traveling by car, the easiest thing you can do is pack a small cooler and stock it with water, juice, fruits, veggies, nuts, yogurt, string cheese, sandwiches, etc. Avoid drinking soda as much as possible, and try to stay away from very salty/greasy or sweet snacks like chips, cookies, chocolate, etc. If you are unable to pack your own cooler, or you forget, here are some tips for picking snacks at the gas station and places along the road:

Try to find the fresh fruits or foods with an expiration date. Most gas stations now will usually have a basket with apples and/or bananas and such in them. You can also look for things like string cheese and yogurt in the cooler section. If you cannot find these foods in the cold section or the fruit looks a little on the questionable side, opt for nuts or dried fruit. Trail mix is usually a pretty decent option.

When looking for places to eat, if you just have the munchies, if you can find a Starbucks, grab a fruit and cheese plate. If your only option is fast food, you can opt for a salad, making sure you go for grilled chicken as opposed to crispy chicken and go for a light dressing. You can go for a burger and fries, but the key is portion control. Do NOT super-size your meal! You can get away with a small burger and fries without too much damage to your calorie intake. As far as dinners and sit down places are concerned, be sure to avoid fried foods if at all possible and make sure you eat your veggies.

Most hotels now have mini-fridges and microwaves in the room. Avoid the temptation to eat out and swing by the local grocery store instead. Grab some T.V. dinners (Lean cuisine) or other small easy prepare foods (a loaf of bread and sandwich meat, cheese, etc) as well as some fruit (apples, grapes, etc) and string cheese, nuts, and such for snacking on. This will probably save you a bit of money and your stomach will likely thank you for it later.

When traveling by air, go ahead and pack nuts, dried fruits, protein, cereal bars, and such into your carry on bag. You may not be able to take your water through security, but I have had no trouble packing an empty reusable water bottle and filling it up at a water fountain on the other side. If you have to eat airport food avoid the burger joints, pizza parlors and taco stands and go for sandwiches if you can. Pick one with a lean meats like Turkey or Chicken and try to get as many veggies as you can on your sandwich. Go for fruit at the counter and always choose water over pop. Juice and low fat milk are also good options.

Hope this helps or gives you some ideas. Happy traveling everyone!

~Samurai Girl Sahara


Useful links/sources:
Best Picks No Matter Where You Are
Meal and Restaurant Advice
More of the Same

Learning Styles

There are three basic/common types of learning styles. They Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic.

Visual learners learn by seeing/looking/observing. Here are some clues that you might be a visual learner:

• take numerous detailed notes
• tend to sit in the front
• are usually neat and clean
• often close their eyes to visualize or remember something
• find something to watch if they are bored
• like to see what they are learning
• benefit from illustrations and presentations that use color
• are attracted to written or spoken language rich in imagery
• prefer stimuli to be isolated from auditory and kinesthetic distraction
• find passive surroundings ideal

Auditory learners learn by hearing/listening. Clues you may be an auditory learner:

• sit where they can hear but needn't pay attention to what is happening in front
• may not coordinate colors or clothes, but can explain why they are wearing what they are wearing and why
• hum or talk to themselves or others when bored
• acquire knowledge by reading aloud
• remember by verbalizing lessons to themselves (if they don't they have difficulty reading maps or diagrams or handling conceptual assignments like mathematics).

Kinesthetic learners learn by doing and touching. Clues you may be a kinesthetic learner:

• need to be active and take frequent breaks
• speak with their hands and with gestures
• remember what was done, but have difficulty recalling what was said or seen
• find reasons to tinker or move when bored
• rely on what they can directly experience or perform
• activities such as cooking, construction, engineering and art help them perceive and learn
• enjoy field trips and tasks that involve manipulating materials
• sit near the door or someplace else where they can easily get up and move around
• are uncomfortable in classrooms where they lack opportunities for hands-on experience
• communicate by touching and appreciate physically expressed encouragement, such as a pat on the back

So, they're pretty straight forward. Also, it's not uncommon for people to have two stronger learner styles and one weaker one, or even use different learning styles for different tasks. Once you know what kind of leaner you are it can help you absorb information better. For example if you know that you are an auditory learner, reading flash cards or notes aloud to yourself will work better for you than just looking at them or writing them.

Most martial arts instructors will teach using a combination of all three of these to accommodate all learning styles. They will demonstrate a technique for the class (visual) while explaining what they are doing (auditory) usually followed by having the students work on the technique or by working one on one with the student (kinesthetic).

If you tend to go through the motions as you watch your instructor do the movements, you are probably a kinesthetic learner. If you are able to just observe and absorb the instruction that way, you are probably visual, and if you find yourself listening more than watching or repeating instructions back to yourself, you are probably auditory. 

For more information about this read "Way to Black Belt" or "Teaching the Martial Arts". One thing that Wilder and Kane discuss in "Way to Black Belt" is that once you have identified your learning style you should discuss with your instructor what your learning style is.

If you are uncertain as to what your learning style may be, just google "Learning Styles" and you'll come up with information as well as quizzes to help you determine where you fall. :)

Stressed Out?

Feeling stressed out lately? I am. I'm in the middle of making some huge life changes. Changing jobs, changing states, moving, etc. Half my things are in Colorado, half of them are in Oklahoma, I have no job, and $1200 student loan payment to figure out how to make this month. In addition, Sensei Nick is on the other side of the world for the next 34 days or so. Wooo!

So, in light of all the apprehension and anxiety I've been feeling I wanted to share some facts about stress.

Stress is very bad for you. It is incredibly hard on your body.
Stress effects

• Your Brain: how clearly you think and make decisions as well as how you react emotionally to people and situations. It can also cause headaches and migraines.
• Your Teeth and Mouth: stress can cause you to clench or grind your teeth, which is very bad for them and can lead to TMJ, problems with joints in your jaw, and some studies show gum disease. Stress can also cause canker sores. 
• Your Heart: hormones released into your body when feeling stressed cause your heart to beat faster and blood vessels to constrict, stress has also been linked to high blood pressure, blood clots, and even stroke.
• Your Lungs: people with Asthma or COPD may experience extreme symptoms when stressed
• You Tummy: stress can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach aches, cramps and even ulcers.
• Your Skin: stress can cause break outs including acne, cold sores, and fever blisters. 
• Your Hair: stress can make your hair fall out! Its true. 
• Your Muscles: stress can cause tension to build up in your muscles, especially around the neck, shoulders and back which can lead to all over body pain
• Your Immune System: stress also suppresses the immune system and can cause you to be more susceptible to infections. If you want to avoid getting sick, try to avoid stress.

Well... That's some pretty terrible stuff. As I said, stress is VERY hard on your body. Luckily there are things you can do to cope with stress and avoid some of these icky symptoms. These include:

• SLEEP - be sure to get a good nights rest, 8 hours if you can manage it.
• EAT PROPERLY - most people eat junk when they're stressed out, but by making sure you eat well balanced meals in healthy portion sizes you'll be doing your body a huge favor.
• EXERCISE - this one is huge, most people feel too tired when stressed out to work out, but this is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It helps you burn off some steam and is good for your body. Take a walk/jog/run or head to the gym and pump some iron for half an hour. You may not feel like you have time, but usually when you are stressed and feel that way is when you need to work out the most. Make time and you'll feel much better for doing it.
• PLAN AND PRIORITIZE - planning you schedule, making a to do list, and prioritizing things you need to accomplish can help if you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with some of the small easy stuff and cross these tasks off your list when you are done. This can give you a sense of accomplishment and be a moral booster. You can do it! Don't over-schedule yourself. Also, when setting goals, be sure you are setting SMART goals.
• RELAX and/or MEDITATE - be sure to take some down time. Take a hot bubble bath, lay down in a quiet place and just focus on breathing techniques, meditate, do something that you find enjoyable and non-stressful. Taking a little time to do something for yourself can help you feel rested and restored. It can quiet your mind and give you better focus and more perspective. One thing I think people don't do enough these days is slow down and relax. Sometimes it really is ok to just do nothing.
• TALK IT OUT - talk with friends or family, someone you trust about your anxiety, apprehension, and stress. Sometimes just being able to talk it out helps and you'll feel a lot better after you've just gotten it out of your system. Plus, friends and family also usually form a great support network and can be a great source of encouragement and helpful advice. Avoid negative people or people who are more likely to contribute to your stress. 
• AVOID IF POSSIBLE - finally, avoiding stressful situations (if you can) is the best way to deal with (or not deal with as the case may be) stress and it's side effects. 

So, if you're feeling stressed out, take a walk, eat some fruit and nuts, make a to do list, remember to breathe. Just remember, this too shall pass and you'll be all the stronger for it. Talk to people who are supportive and keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Have a good week all. I believe in you!

Sources: 

Stress Side Effects

Stress Management

A bit more on stress

7 Essentials for MA students and teachers

Last of the information I'm going to post from the Miller Seminar, I debated back and forth about whether to post this or not, but I feel this is pretty essential information. These are all things most dojos don't cover but SHOULD. This is essential for both students and instructors to know. If you're interested, Meditations on Violence covers everything much more thoroughly. I'll be posting information from and a review of Facing Violence once Sensei Nick brings it back from Singapore and I get a chance to read it. ¬.¬


Self Defense - 7 things you (and your students (or teachers)) NEED to know:

1. Legal and Ethical - Legal - Don't go to prison for doing something you thought was ok. Disarm/disable the attacker and get the heck out. Don't disarm him and then stab him with his own knife and kick him while he writhes in pain on the ground. Ethical - know your own laws. Know where your glitches and lines are, know what you can and can't do.
2. Violence Dynamic - its stupid to study Martial Arts/Self Defense without studying how violent predators attack. That is the question, Martial Arts is the answer. You cannot study the answer without knowing the question. In addition, do not train against stuff that never happens in real life. Study how people really attack and work to that. 
3. Avoidance / Evade and Escape / DeEscalate - Avoidance - Avoid places where violence happens. If violence does happen, Evade and Escape! Run towards safety and away from danger, this means running towards lights and people, remember witnesses, etc. Deescalate - know when you can and when you can't. If someone is in an altered state of mind, you probably won't be able to talk them into calm, rational thought, so best just get out and notify the authorities.
4. Operant Conditioning  - when confronted with a new situation, people go through the OODA loop. Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. To limit the amount of time it takes you to get through the OODA loop, you need a decision stick instead of a decision tree. Keep things as simple as possible to narrow down your reaction to Stimulus - Response Stimulus - Response Stimulus - Response etc. 
5. Freeze - EVERYONE freezes, this is normal, the only thing you can do to try to break the freeze is to tell yourself to do something, and then you have to make yourself do it. Then you'll want to freeze again, so you have to make yourself do something again. 
6. Fight - in a fight, your skills WILL go to shit, you won't know anything, you won't know who or how or why, or anything, bad guys smell and they don't care if they get in your space and they hurt you. If you are losing badly, then you have nothing to lose, so anything and everything goes. If you're going down, take the guy with you.
7. Aftermath - there will be legal, medical and psychological aftermath. As far as the immediate goes, GET SAFE, CHECK YOURSELF FOR INJURIES, and then CALL IT IN ASAP. If you are OK with what happened, THAT IS OK, don't let some counselor tell you that you are broken and should have damage and trama. If you aren't ok with what happened, that is ok too! You WILL be ok, You will change and grow and you will never be the same again, but you will be ok.